Sometimes belonging is built in ordinary moments – like walking through a store with a safe adult and hearing them ask, “Which one do you like?”, giving a teen the freedom to choose. For a young man named Pelumi*, belonging was found during a shopping trip, when he realized, unmistakably, he was known.
Birthdays are an occasion Back2Back believes deeply in celebrating for each of the children and youth we serve. At partnering children’s homes, birthdays are often celebrated by month; each child is honored alongside peers who have a birthday the same month as theirs. Pelumi had long experienced these types of celebrations, and he savored them each year.
He recently transitioned from a children’s home to the Hope Program, where he lives in a smaller home with peers his age and house parents, Nehemiah and Deborah. They asked him, as his birthday drew near, how he wanted to celebrate; a few days later, he received extra spending money from one of his sponsors, and together he and Nehemiah went shopping. They walked the aisles of the store as Pelumi looked over pants and shoes, but he never picked anything up.
“What do you like?” Nehemiah asked him, smiling as he said it. It was then Pelumi understood he was able to choose exactly what he wanted. He retraced his steps, finally choosing shirts, trousers, and two pairs of shoes. He’d picked each item out on his own, smiling as they left the store.
“I have never been celebrated this much,” said Pelumi after they got back home. “Thank you.”
Nehemiah and Deborah were deeply touched by his gratitude. They understood that a simple birthday experience was actually far from simple; it was an opportunity for a young man in their care to connect more closely with the family he was welcomed into.
Pelumi carried more home that day than new clothes and shoes; he held the experience of being asked what he wanted and having his preferences noticed. Pelumi has spent much of his life sharing celebrations, but he was singled out in love, and something powerful was communicated: you are worth celebrating all on your own.
The Hope Program exists to provide the experience of living in a healthy family while pursuing higher education, but moments like this are a reminder that growing toward adulthood isn’t just about learning practical skills. It’s also about knowing the safe adults beside you pay attention and ask questions, because they want to make room for your voice.
Pelumi thought he was just choosing shirts, trousers, and shoes that day, and he was; but he was also discovering what it feels like to belong.
